Today, as a sequel to the previous article, I will outline the various ways through which God reveals His will to us in choosing a marital partner (and indeed, every other aspect of life).
First Things First….
To set a good foundation for this discourse, let me say that the choice of who to marry should not be the 1st and only time you desire to ask God for His will. Through several years of counselling and teaching singles and young people, I have been inundated with the primary question…” How do I know the will of God concerning the best person to marry?” after asking some pertinent questions, I find out that the majority of the time, this is the 1st time that they are considering seeking to identify God’s will concerning a matter.
Many a relationship expert will tell you that trying to know how God reveals his will at the time of marriage is very late in the day. The best path for everyone seeking to understand the way God reveals His will would be to begin to seek His guidance in seemingly everyday matters like what dress to wear, what course to study in school, what school to go to, what friends to make and those to do away with, what words to say in various situations, etc.
Personally, growing up, on different occasions, I asked God for his guidance about my choices of course of study, school, and even the 1st place where I would work after completing my national youth service and I must say that God guided me in making the right choices, which I’m so grateful to Him for, even up till this day.
When you get used to identifying God’s choice and following God’s will in these issues, you will be better prepared to identify, understand and follow God’s will and guidance in marriage. This is a much better pathway to success in this topic of discussion.
How Does God Reveal His Will To You?
- Through His Word [Psalm 119:105; 2 Timothy 3:16]
The Bible is the best place to find God’s will for you. God’s word (the Bible) can never be separated from His will. Any step you take which does not agree with the Bible is not God’s will. As a single who was searching for a spouse in my days as an undergraduate, I had to take some time out (about a whole month) to study the Bible from beginning to end, solely to search out those scriptures that highlighted God’s will concerning a godly marriage and who a godly spouse should be. - Through Visions [Ezekiel 1:1; Joel 2:28; Acts 9:10-12]
A vision occurs when God flashes a picture (or scene) through your mind. God may choose this method to reveal His will to you. About selecting a marital partner, God may show you, through visions, some features/characteristics of your marital partner, ahead of time. During my time as a single, I recall that God gave me a vision that my wife would be a diligent person (someone engaged in business/skilled work, not career) and eventually, when I met my wife, she was doing business for a living, though she was a university graduate. - Through Dreams [Genesis 37:5-9; 40:1-13,16-22],
God can reveal His will to you through dreams, but you need to be careful. WHY? Dreams could come from God, the devil or your feelings. If you dream about somebody being your spouse, you must confirm the authenticity through God’s word and His spirit. During my years as a single, I once had a dream that I was walking to the altar with a particular lady in my school fellowship. Sometime after that dream and some intense communion with God, I was convinced by God’s spirit that the dream was not from Him; thus, I had to put the episode to rest. - Through Godly Counsel [Proverbs 11:14; 15:22]
God can reveal His will about your choice of a marital partner through the guidance of godly counselors. Godly counselors are people God has imparted godly wisdom and knowledge, who can guide you in choosing in line with God’s will. However, godly counselors can only guide you but should never make the final decisions for you – that’s your prerogative. This act has been my stance and modus operandi with all the young people I have taught and counseled on marital choices. - Through Inner Witness (Confirmation of The Spirit) [John 16:13-14; 1 Corinthians 2:10-12]
I believe that in conjunction with God’s word mentioned earlier, this is the best way to identify God’s will for you in marriage, and indeed every other aspect of life…and this is my personal experience. How does this happen? You will experience a kind of inner peace/affirmation in your spirit in an agreement with God that you are doing His will and vice-versa. However, this will only happen if God’s spirit is alive in you. I’ll give a real-life experience here. In 2017, while I was still working in a particular company, the company’s owner promised that he would buy me a house based on my efforts to move the organization forward. I may have thought he was just bluffing, but he had bought a house for a colleague of mine at the Lekki axis in Lagos, Nigeria; thus, it was evident that he was dead serious about the promise.Now, such a promise should have made me feel elated and on top of the world because I was still a tenant. However, for some strange reason, I wasn’t at peace with the whole thing and discussed it with my wife. As time progressed, I began feeling within me that this ‘kind’ gesture would tie me down at the company and prevent me from resigning and moving on from the company in the future when the time came. This reason is aside from some other unknown reasons. Eventually, I resigned and left the company before he made good on his promise.
Finally….
We must seek to know God’s will for our lives. Knowing God will help us make the best choices in marriage and all other spheres of our lives.